Weird news – I actually enrolled in school. I’m getting a bit tired of sitting around with what education I’ve got and no piece of paper showing that I actually worked for it. So alas, here I am. Almost an actually bona fide student, I just need to pay off the tuition and get my wonderful I.D. and voila! Actual honest to goodness student, no poser here.

So the other night I went to several gallery showings downtown Portland. It never ceases to amaze me what one considers art. My interpretation of art is something that is creatively planned, and creatively constructed. I am not fond of abstract pieces. To me; it is as if someone just threw multiple items together, gave it a name, and then labeled it as mixed media. That’s not art, that’s what my garbage can looks like just before I tie the bag and hoist it into the dumpster, voila – mixed media.

I fear that the day is soon approaching where I will soon see a canvas painted with construction paper spitballs and that this person will recreate various famous paintings with this crude style. Also, this person will become extremely famous for interpreting so many works with spitballs no one will stump them with the question “So did you re-create so many images because you, yourself, couldn’t come up with an original portrait to spit on the wall?”

So without further ado, my friend Dan Johnson has agreed to edit this blog. The Changelog states that it happened yesterday (Oct. 15^th) but everything had happened around the midnight-ish part of the day. I’m mentioning it today because I’m too lazy to go back and mention it then. It’s one friggin’ day people, come on.

So a little back-story about this, I am horrible at the whole idea and concept of editing, I am capable, yet it’s just better with a third set of eyes looking this all over and making sure that I am not ruining the language I speak. And yes I don’t need to be corrected on the statement “Third set of eyes,” my glasses are the second set. Albeit they’re a horrible set, they’re obviously not as bad as my first set. He’s also here to make sure I make sense of what I talk about. It is human nature that our minds work faster than our fingers when we type. In a lot of situations my fingers actually think faster and before I know it I’ve gone completely way off topic and I may have failed to realize it, stupid ‘Publish’ button. That’s why Dan is here. And I’m grateful that he said he would do it. I think the phrase was more down the lines as “You think I’ve got that much free time?” But in my head, what I heard was more down the lines as an agreement.

Even more of a back-story; I met Dan at a coffee shop back in ‘98 or ‘99 – the exact year slips me. I’m sure I was doing nothing at the moment when a friend of his commented on an accessory that I was wearing to which I laughed at. From that point on I was introduced to the two of them and I’ve known Dan since. We’ve shared many comical moments at several local watering holes. But the most memorable one is when we attended the grand opening of one where a drunken sorority girl questioned our interest in women because we were ignoring her. We both had great reason to ignore this little gem of a girl. It’s one thing for an apple to fall far from a tree, but I’m pretty sure this one was rotten before she fell. I mean come on, she was wearing a homemade sports jersey sporting the title “Roofie” on the back, do I need to elaborate more on that?

We both adventured around the Portland, Oregon area as well. He can’t remember the name of the bars I am supposed to go to and I have no idea where they are. Should have just implanted that GPS tracker on him while he was sleeping but even I have limits. He did teach me one thing about Portland though; Shepard’s Pie is a disgusting and fancy name for Beef Pot Pie. The latter I will eat but I will refuse it if anyone gives it a funky name like Shepard’s Pie. If I gave you a bowl of chili and called it ‘Jacob’s Stewed Beef’ would you eat it? That may not be a good example because I’m curious as to how that would taste. How about ‘Inuit’s Breaded Frozen Custard’ instead of Ice Cream Sandwich?